Dionis on the web.

As usual. I’ve been having fever and the chills for the past 4 days, started from saturday all the way till today. And till date, I’m still having body pains. I’m not sure what’s happening, perhaps age is catching up but it sure sucks to be sick. Everything tastes horrible or to be exact, tasteless. When I try to eat something oily, my stomach protests and I feel like puking.

TMI yeah? I’m just whining.

In any case, life’s been slightly monotonous for a while as a lot of time has been spent waiting for this and that to happen. I’m sure you guys know what I mean. I haven’t had the chance to really sit down to do the things that I like, except for my acting classes and weekend getaways.

Let me just organise some of my thoughts to keep my eyes set on the bigger picture:
AP’s marketing collaterals – notebook + flyer
AP’s website
AP’s mailing out of notebook + flyer
JuicyT’s website
Bj’s Fleamarket
SS2010 application
AP’s production site setup
Personal photobooks
The 55kg mark
P’eets site update – take down discontinued products.
P’eets inventory – sell of discontinued products
BC’s e-shop

Gosh that’s a lot to do. I really need all the focus and concentration I can get. I really hope this leaky nose of mine will recover soon.

I pray for peace and grace at my hands when I need to deal with difficult people.

I pray for compassion in my thoughts and views when I am with the people who deserve them.

I pray for love and patience in me when I interact with the people that I care for.

I pray for resilience and perseverance to achieve my goals.

I pray for tenacity to overcome my obstacles.

& I pray the same for you, who came across this entry, with the purest of intention.

Just a little soul food for you and me

Just suddenly have the urge to ramble nonsense:

1) So many con artists around me. Feel like calling their bluff.
2) Just suddenly annoyed by the lack of meaning in life.
3) I hate chao kuan and ngiao people.
4) Frustrated at something and it’s sucking out my energy. I probably need to sit down and self coach myself out of this rut.
5) Too many voices telling me things. I need to sort them out.
6) Just feeling tired.

Ok, back to work. Will come up with something more substantial later.

Where I feel like a recluse and don’t want to do anything or talk to anyone. Yes, I’ve done my work, went through the motions, fulfilled the orders, sent out the emails but I’m generally, bored.

Everything’s falling into a routine and I’m feeling the pressure of time on my back. There’s a lot of things that I want to do but am feeling like there’s not enough time. But you know what they say, you make time. I need to revisit my time management skills and spend less time on unimportant things.

On a side note, remember that I mentioned about my unspoken dreams the last entry? I have some developments in 2 areas. I signed up for acting class! Yes, I chanced upon a class right after I declared my dreams and promptly signed up for it. Not sure where it’s going to take me but it is definitely something that excites me.

The next area is…. I’ve actually lost weight and now weigh in the 57kgs range. Mad light. Like the lightest weight ever in my life. The last time I weighed this was when I was 12. For 15 years, I’ve been struggling with weight issues and finally I’m seeing progress and some light in this area. I’m really very very happy.  4 more kgs to go to hit my ideal weight! Then of course for my “model” figure, I need to maintain at 49 kgs – let’s work 57kgs first.

I’m facing a little bit of problem, I’ve so many things going in my head everyday and ideas and ideas keep popping in. I need to find a way to document my thoughts. One moment I have a new idea for my novel, another moment I have a marketing plan, another moment I feel like prancing around. If someone were to look at me, I would look like I have MPD or bipolar personality.

ANYWAY. Enough of rambling, I gotta work on my other weightloss blog.

Till I ramble again.

Have been feeling a little melancholic the past couple of days. And it is during these feelings of melancholy that I start asking questions about Life and get in touch with my inner feelings again- the inner soapy, emo me.

It’s funny how often we get caught up with the drudgeries of life that we forget to experience life for what it is. Or we forget about what we really would love to do. Or we stop dreaming and relegate all dreams to the ranks of “impossibility”. I know I did. I know I warned about this before. And I know I’m doing it again.

I forgot to smell the flowers, taste my food, listen to music, touch my loved ones, stare at my favourite ceiling… More so, I forgot that these things once mattered to me. And they still do.

Ouch. I suddenly realised how time has passed without me being 100% present in it. Lost time it seems. And the most painful thing of it all, I realised that I was afraid to dream. Afraid that the dreams would not materialise and I will leave this world disappointed. And so, I decided not to dream at all, just so that I’ll not be disappointed. What kind of warped reasoning is that?

Warped.

Suddenly an epiphany hit me when I was driving, I finally found a direction that I would like to take my blog towards. Really to be a place where I can pour out my thoughts and share it with everyone out there, hopefully be able to provide a space for you to think and connect with yourself to.

I plan to have each blog entry in this format (or similar) – sharing a past experience, sharing some thoughts on retrospect, asking questions to make people think and share their thoughts too. Not sure how it will turn out, I probably won’t do every entry like this, but I REALLY want to do a little column for this. Now I make myself sound like a writer. LOL. Which leads me on to my next point.

Writing a column and a book has been one of my dreams. I would love to be able to publish a romantic novel – or a series and also a book of thoughts. I may be pretty far from it but this blog is definitely a stepping stone there.

Seems like I’ve blabbered enough for this post. I will like to end this post with some of my innermost dreams, as crazy, embarrassing and as impossible as it sounds though. Either, I am too old for it, have no technical background etc. But heck, these are my dreams, it’s in my head and I got to get it out.

• Write a novel and publish it. Have an autograph signing session.
• Star in a melodrama on tv and make my audience cry.
• Own a baby grand piano (no idea where am I going to put it)
• Have a home that’s extremely organised and neat. I have boxes to put the different items, labeled and all sorted according to colours.
• Achieving a model like figure.
• Build a hospital or a school.
• Start a fashion line
• Do a fashion shoot – I’m the model LOL
• Getting paid for doing the things that I like. But sadly, I haven’t found something that I really really really like to do yet.
• Gain special telepathic / psychic powers to help people
• Learn the fine art of cooking and cook delicious meals for the people I love.
• Inspiring people to do the same and live their dreams too.
• And more that I currently can’t recall. Will come back in and add it in here.

I shall leave you with a lil’ quote (modified as I can’t remember the exact wording) that someone once said to me, “Great things start from dreams that were once thought to be impossible“.

What about you, what are your impossible dreams?

Just felt inspired to lock in a blog entry today.

Just came back from a relaxing weekend in Malaysia with my family. Just doing nothing, chilling and watching the birds and trees. This trip definitely helped clear my mind quite a bit. Not that I found new inspiration yet, but it definitely helped relieve the tension in my chest. Been stressed about a lot of things in life – work mainly. But I also realised that I’ve been holding on too tightly about certain things and it’s time to look forward and move on. Business is about flexibility isn’t it? If we keep playing the blame game, we end up losing a lot of unnecessary time. Now it’s time to take a few portions of the business and whack out sales in them.

I just realised that I have done and will be doing quite a bit of travelling this year.

Done

- Hainan in Jan to visit Grandpa
- Guangzhou in Mar to do trade fair and visit dar
- Malaysia in Apr with family

Doing
- KL in May for wedding
- Macau in May for trade fair
- Phuket in May for Holiday
- Guangzhou in June to visit dar and look for biz opps
- Hongkong to tour and visit Noel (hope this can come true)
- Shanghai for world expo (still tentative but I wanna go!)
- Chicago possibly for trade fair
- South Korea at the end of the year with Jannis

Seems quite action packed. But that also means that I need to increase sales and automate systems so that I can create resources and time to fulfil the above peacefully. Am I worried? Of course I am. Am I ready to jump into it, definitely. I’m not even sure if the business will work, but I’ll just go all out and try first. Let’s just hope I can create some results in that area.

Some other  side projects that I’m on
- T-shirt project (the super customised tees are arriving from Thailand in 1 week’s time!)
- beauty products review project – currently reviewing a detox drink. Have lost 1 kgs and inches after 1 week. Go to beautychubbs.com to follow my progress.
- ecommerce project with MJ
- learning some piano pieces
- learning cantonese
- about to learn sewing hehe

Anyway, I think I’ve blabbered enough – I would like to end off today’s entry with a picture of my meditation spot that I’ve descovered in Malaysia. Ohmmmm.

Wow, it’s march already and I haven’t made any entries here.

It’s almost as if Twitter killed my blog haha. I’ve been active on Twitter but less than active on my blog itself. Maybe I’ve been getting too busy with work and other things that I’m starting to neglect this blog altogether.

I really loved the time when I documented almost everything under the sun in the blog and it kept a lot of good memories. As time passes, we start to realise that our memories fade away. They become fuzzy, unclear and forgotten. When I check back my old blog, I was quite surprised at how I spent my time previously when I re-read through the entries. There were a few years where I kept the blogging about my daily activities down to a minimum because I was on a couple of stealth projects. And as expected, I can’t really remember much about the things I did then.

Not that I am able to resume blogging the way I do, but I want to make an effort to at least document the important things that have happened to me. Well, so for I’ve just completed a week of lacto-ovo-vegetarianism where I experienced increase in energy and reduction in bloatiness. Am quite happy with the results and would probably do a week a month being a vegetarian.

For other parts of my life, I am going to scale down my current venture and put energy into something exciting that’s coming up in April. Life’s getting interesting

Alright, that’s about all that I have right now, till the next time!

Eeks, I know it’s been like eons since I last blogged over here. I guess I got kinda carried away with twitter and life. Yes, the thing we do outside of work. Not that I’m very happening

I was on posterous for a little while but I figured that I still liked my own hosted blog, so here I am, back here re-attempting to blog.

I was checking out my old entries on blogspot and boy was I glad that I was very diligent in blogging many years ago and I managed to record down a lot of memories that I would have otherwise forgotten. I’m also contemplating printing out my entire old blog into a book and archiving it for my own personal collection. Sounds kinda narcissistic?

Anyway, this blog entry is really about 2010 and some summary thoughts on my wishes for the year ahead.

I drew up a little wishlist for myself:

1. Book a trip to South Korea with Jannis
2. Online digital printing system by end of the year for Archerprint
3. Revamp and Clean office
4. Revamped bedroom
5. Weight to hit 55kgs (Am 58.6kgs now)
6. Own a chanel 2.55
7. T-bone up and running
8. Learn Cantonese
9. Expand into 3rd branch for Archerprint
10. Establish a passive / additional income of SGD$5k a month
11. Modernize business operations at Archer
12. Up DP wing revenue to $50k a month
13. Run Bluefox garment distribution in SG

Let’s just keep it at 13 wishes and goals at the moment first. I’ve another list stashed somewhere. This is a reminder to myself, everyday, every moment to keep working towards it. Let’s see what are we going to come up with at the end of this year!

Alrights, shall blog again soon.

This month must have been a “bad month”. Somehow I had to deal with very difficult people. Maybe because sometimes I’m unreasonable myself but if the person is sympathetic or reasonable without name-calling (that’s plain childish), I will listen. Karma might have came back to me.

Life has been boring I must say except for the angry tirades. I don’t know why. Perhaps I am not living my life to what I should be doing.

I’m tired.

I hate young cat urine. It’s a code name for something

Was reading through my old blog today and found a couple of things. Suddenly I do feel a little older than before. Most of it was due to the fact that many things have changed over the years. I’ve lost quite a fair bit of the naivety and innocence from the yester-years. Even the style that I write my blog entries in have changed.

While it used to be cheery and more bubbly in the past, all these have been replaced by a certain melancholy and maturity, at least in my thoughts and written expressions. It’s kinda weird, because I have never noticed it until now.

Suddenly I felt that I needed to come back up here to start blogging again and placing the different bookmarks in my life.

Saw the picture of this little letter that I received during union camp in 2002. Apparently we had this game called the “Secret Pal” where 2 people will anonymously write letters to each other, like a secret pal, and we’ll get to meet only on the last night of the camp.

The guy turned out to be a real prince charming, making it to the camp pageant, sans the manners and charisma. In my memory, he was a rather shy thing who couldn’t manage his emotions. I remember the dinner that we had during the last night at camp, and he was quiet. We exchanged a few words and found out that he actually lives very close by. I thought he would make a good friend and perhaps sometimes I could drop him off at school.

But apparently, he took it the wrong way and thought I was trying to go after him. Worst still, right after dinner, he found some excuse and tried to escape. (We were supposed to do an activity together after that) I tried to ask him for his number, just in case if we needed to do an activity after dinner, and he found some cockamimi excuse and said he’ll find me later.

That never happened.

Some time later, I heard some really hurtful stuff about how I was trying to go after him and I wasn’t the “Snow White”. I wasn’t the one who chose the nick ok. He’s a pageant boy and I’m a fat / ugly girl trying to go after him, who does she think she is? Sometimes you think these things only happen in the movies. Guess where they got their materials from?

A couple of months down the road, there was a rumour that he dropped out of school.

Funny that all these memories started streaming back into me. In the past, I would go all self bashing and whine in my misery. But for now, these memories really give me a deep insight of how I turned out the way I am. I am starting to see the fragments of anger, disappointment, poor image and hate that still lingers within the recesses of my mind. It’s pretty amazing that sometimes you think that you’ve gotten over some things, but you discover a new angle that you haven’t processed yet. The human mind is very very interesting, shall put some work into this.

Shall end off this entry with part deux of his letter.