Archive for April, 2010

Have been feeling a little melancholic the past couple of days. And it is during these feelings of melancholy that I start asking questions about Life and get in touch with my inner feelings again- the inner soapy, emo me.

It’s funny how often we get caught up with the drudgeries of life that we forget to experience life for what it is. Or we forget about what we really would love to do. Or we stop dreaming and relegate all dreams to the ranks of “impossibility”. I know I did. I know I warned about this before. And I know I’m doing it again.

I forgot to smell the flowers, taste my food, listen to music, touch my loved ones, stare at my favourite ceiling… More so, I forgot that these things once mattered to me. And they still do.

Ouch. I suddenly realised how time has passed without me being 100% present in it. Lost time it seems. And the most painful thing of it all, I realised that I was afraid to dream. Afraid that the dreams would not materialise and I will leave this world disappointed. And so, I decided not to dream at all, just so that I’ll not be disappointed. What kind of warped reasoning is that?

Warped.

Suddenly an epiphany hit me when I was driving, I finally found a direction that I would like to take my blog towards. Really to be a place where I can pour out my thoughts and share it with everyone out there, hopefully be able to provide a space for you to think and connect with yourself to.

I plan to have each blog entry in this format (or similar) – sharing a past experience, sharing some thoughts on retrospect, asking questions to make people think and share their thoughts too. Not sure how it will turn out, I probably won’t do every entry like this, but I REALLY want to do a little column for this. Now I make myself sound like a writer. LOL. Which leads me on to my next point.

Writing a column and a book has been one of my dreams. I would love to be able to publish a romantic novel – or a series and also a book of thoughts. I may be pretty far from it but this blog is definitely a stepping stone there.

Seems like I’ve blabbered enough for this post. I will like to end this post with some of my innermost dreams, as crazy, embarrassing and as impossible as it sounds though. Either, I am too old for it, have no technical background etc. But heck, these are my dreams, it’s in my head and I got to get it out.

• Write a novel and publish it. Have an autograph signing session.
• Star in a melodrama on tv and make my audience cry.
• Own a baby grand piano (no idea where am I going to put it)
• Have a home that’s extremely organised and neat. I have boxes to put the different items, labeled and all sorted according to colours.
• Achieving a model like figure.
• Build a hospital or a school.
• Start a fashion line
• Do a fashion shoot – I’m the model LOL
• Getting paid for doing the things that I like. But sadly, I haven’t found something that I really really really like to do yet.
• Gain special telepathic / psychic powers to help people
• Learn the fine art of cooking and cook delicious meals for the people I love.
• Inspiring people to do the same and live their dreams too.
• And more that I currently can’t recall. Will come back in and add it in here.

I shall leave you with a lil’ quote (modified as I can’t remember the exact wording) that someone once said to me, “Great things start from dreams that were once thought to be impossible“.

What about you, what are your impossible dreams?